Mornings hate me. I'm like a blind newly born duckling. Vulnerable and awkward, I stumble into walls. I forget to do things like put on a bra and deodorant. I spill coffee on myself. I'm a hot mess.
I am also the laziest person I know...at least I thought I was. But maybe I got so good at pretending to not try that it has tricked the whole world into thinking I am one of those people who has their life together.
I want to share my secret, so you too can trick the world. I'm going to give you my top 10 tips on how to seem put together. We all need to get through mornings together.
1. Hair. I swear, by the time I finish brushing it, washing it, drying it, styling it, an hour has gone bye-bye. Well, screw that. I've started washing mine twice a week. (Sometimes just once if I really don't care.) Not only is this healthier for your strands but it saves on time. I'd rather be doing anything else. Arm yourself with dry shampoo (Batiste, Dove, Oribe, or if you're really short on cash plain ol' Baby Powder. Click here for Different kinds of dry shampoo). You could also get a beanie or a hat if you have the head for it. Oh, and if you can't seem to do a bun, try this and have it look perfect every time.
2. Scarves. I've amassed quite a collection. Supposedly, my body shape (top heavy) shouldn't really be wearing them but eh screw it; I adore them. Learn how to tie them differently. I think Wendy's Lookbook had like 25 ways to do it. Ways to wear a scarf . Click on that and learn. Wear a plain t shirt and jeans and you'll look like you have no style. Add a scarf and BAM! Instant style people. Instant. Frickin. Style.
3. Leggings. If you think I hate washing my hair, then you can imagine how much I hate shaving the stems. Chewbacca would be jealous if he saw me. I don't give a flying eff. Razors cut and ain't no body got time to be bleeding. Hells no. Instead,what you do is invest in some good leggings. Not that see-through cheap shit ones, the good fleece-lined ones that make you feel like a million bucks. Target sells em for like 14 or 16 bucks. Leggings here. Same rule applies for cardigans.
4. Boots. Boots are awesome. You slip your feet in them and out the door. No laces. There are some where you don't even have to zip em up. (Those are the best, by the way.) This is another collection that I have. I won't tell you the number I have b/c I've asked around and mine is unusually high even among friends of mine with serious shoe shopping problems. Suffice it to say that I probably shouldn't be buying anymore, but I probably will if I see a good deal because I love them and I'm an addict. Check these out.
5. Dresses. I think wearing jeans and a t-shirt is too much effort. There's the whole balancing thing to put one pant leg in at a time and then after that, you gotta do the same for the upper half. No. Too much effort. Let me slip something over my head, pop my arms through and be done with it. Also, it looks like I tried more than if I put on jeans and t shirt which is a lie. Ha! I didn't even have to move as much. Lazy girl for the win. Just find out what kind of shape flatters you. A line does the trick for me. Bought a bunch of them (Like these!) Put on some leggings and boots and you'll look like you gave a damn. Hells yeah!
6. Find the right red lipstick. The one that has a blue undertone so your teeth don't look yellow is best. It can make or break your look. Like it's the end of your day and you look all haggard. But put on a red lipstick, juj your hair up a bit and adjust the girls and BAM! Instantly look put together. Hells yeah. Red lipstick for under $10 bucks
7. Brows. I hate pain. I'm so glad I don't have to mess with the brows anymore. You don't have to either. Just make sure yours are filled in. They make a ton of stuff now. I still think the pencil is too much. People are too heavy handed with that stuff. Angle brush and matte eye shadow that's lighter than your hair. So if you have black hair, go for gray or dark brown. Don't go crazy with this. Just light hand. It really does help make you look polished and top secret tip to lazy girl's life tip.
8. Nude eyeliner. Wanna look awake even though you binge-watched Netflix last night and got maybe like 4 hours of sleep? Yeah. Go to the drugstore. Get yourself this eyeliner. Rimmel Nude eyeliner . Line your waterline with it and you'll look like your bright-eyed and bushy tailed. Now the old makeup books say white eyeliner and I think that's bull, b/c that's too extreme a look. You want something that cancels out the redness by your eyes. Not something that makes you look like an alien. This is what I mean.
9. Miscellar water. Now my tried and true is Bioderma (here) and I would beg my friends who went to France to send me back a bottle of it without shame. But finally they're making the stuff here now. Simple (here) makes a decent one. Garnier (here) started theirs end of last year. Those are amazeballs. Get yourself cotton pads, splash that stuff and wipe your face clean. If I'm really feeling lazy, that's it for nighttime face routine. Your face is clean and you can go to sleep without the guilt of knowing you're slowly making your pores get bigger b/c your lazy ass couldn't take the time to get the makeup you put on off.
10. Concealer. Oh, concealer, how I adore thee. You are amazing. The trick is to find the right shade for you. Oh and a beauty blender. That's sorta an add on (or you can buy this good dupe). I mean, you can buy the cheapest concealer ( LA Girl makes an awesome one) and use the Beauty Blender and set it with a light layer of powder and you're face is good all day. My top recommended concealers are Revlon , Maybelline, and Sonia Kashuk one as well as that LA Girl one. Just make sure you blend (dap, don't wipe) and set with powder. That's key. That powder is going to cement it on your face all day. Otherwise, it'll melt. Draw a 7 under the right eye and a backwards 7 under the left. Dab w damp Beauty Blender. set with powder. Done. That's it.
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