The Unexplored Erogenous Zone

"A man's biggest erogenous zone might be between his legs, but a woman's will always be between her ears," I proclaimed to my husband one Friday evening over a plate of fries.



Friday evening is always date night. It's in our vows, and I was having my usual. French fries with a side of French kisses.

"Oh, I believe that," he agreed. "That's probably why romance novels are a billion dollar industry."

My head tilted to the side. "Have you ever read one?"

"No." He looked surprised by the admission.

Then he said the sexiest thing ever.

"Can you recommend one for me to read?"

My eyes widened and my pulse quickened. "I don't know why, but hearing you say that is so hot."

He winked. "Even more reason to read one then."

Then, like a literary Rain Man, I started blurting out authors and titles.

"Okay, well it depends on what you like. If you like historicals,you can't go wrong with Elizabeth Hoyt. Oh my god, "Devil in Winter" is one of my faves. That's Lisa Kleypas. Anything by her is good. Oh, and Sarah Maclean: she's funny. Then there are the classics, of course. You got your Julie Garwood, your Judith McNaught, Catherine Coulter, Stephanie Laurens, Johanna Lindseys." I stopped for air. "But if contemporary is your thing, I got a whole other list for you. And another for fantasy. Actually, I have so many other lists. There's this sweet romance, vampire, angsty romance. If you're into kink, there's a whole world you gotta know about. But on the other end of the spectrum, if you're into young adult, new adult, who-done-its, I got you covered there too."

I stopped and looked at his face. It's not an exaggeration when I say I loved him even more at that moment for NOT looking freaked out. He already knew I was passionate about romance novels, though I'm not sure if passionate is the word that could do them justice. Let's just say I have ended friendships with those who dared to diss the genre to my face without ever reading one.

I love the books more than I love most people.

"Which one would you bring to a deserted island?"he asked.

"Well, I have a top ten list for that." I didn't tell him I had a top ten for every genre of romance. That might seem excessive.

"Pick one of those."

I had to think about which one to give him. Which book would best capture the writing skill many non romance readers don't realize exist. I wanted something that would represent how difficult a task it took to write one.

Historical. That much I decided. My husband has never read one, and those authors do a ton of research trying to give life to a time forgotten.

I got it down to two. I decided to let him pick as the  decision was very much cut-a-baby-in-half for me.

Loretta Chase's "Lord of Scoundrels" versus Joanna Bourne's "Spymaster's Lady."

He picked the latter.

He's still reading it as I'm writing this but I couldn't help but ask him some questions.

What do you think of the story so far?

"It's very well written. Good plot. Moves fast. You don't get bored. There's excellent character development. Annique is a bad-ass hero. She's not a Mary Sue. She makes things happen. Strong, fresh descriptions that make you feel like you're there. It's very well researched. There are no anachronisms. It's all in that time period, even down to the medical practices. It's very impressive."

Is there anything that surprised you?

"The delay of sex. There's been a lot of build up. It hasn't happened yet, but I actually like it. The whole story is about her giving of herself in every sense of the word. Her identity, her past, her secrets."

Is there anything you would criticize about the book?

"...Ummm (a few minutes pass, I can tell he's really giving it some thought) ...I guess, I feel like the villain chapters are too short. Like if she was interested in developing the villain more, she could make him less of a caricature. He doesn't have the kind of shadow over a story like a George R.R. Martin has. But there has to be some threat to the story, so he's that plot device. it was noticeable to me." (Forgot to mention, the man is a writer as well and has an MFA).

What's your opinion about romance genre in general?

"I think it has an undeserved reputation of a bodice ripper, a drugstore paperback that bored housewives read. It doesn't get the respect it deserves as far as its artistic value. It's probably premature to say that all romance novels are this good. I'm sure there are bad ones. But in this case, Joanna Bourne's writing, that caliber is definitely among the upper levels of the best writers."

Is there anything you would tell a non-romance reader?

"At least try one. You might be surprised at how much you actually like it. How much it opens your mind to what people are reading and add another dimension to storytelling you never knew existed."

Would you read another one?

"Oh, definitely. Give me a list." 

See, that's the thing about romance, once you get hooked, you never go back to life without it. It's an erogenous zone that must be stroked. And our date nights just got hotter.