The End of an Era

It feels hopeless. That's what living here feels like these days. I'm not ready to go into what I feel about Vegas yet, because I'm still absorbing it.

This post will be more about thoughts-I'm-having-and-need-to-get-out-because-screaming-into-a-pillow-didn't-help kinda thing.

So, where was I? Right. It feels hopeless to live in this country these days.

Some asshole will read that and be quick to say something cruel like, "Well, if you don't like living here go back where you came from."

To that I say: THAT'S THE BEST IDEA EVER!

Too much sarcasm that it comes off as genuine?

Okay, fine, I'd probably say something more like: "Sorry, buddy, I can't fit back into my mother's womb anymore, she won't let me try, but thanks for that helpful suggestion. It really fixes the United States of We're-so-fucked-America." 

I can't help but wonder if this the end of an era.

Is this something future humans will study and shake their heads at how chaotic a time this all was? Will they murmur, "I mean, can you imagine how terrible that was to live then?"

Is this how the Roman civilization ended?

It feels a lot like Rome, don't you think?

Lots of similarities.

-You have the rich emperor who acts like a child. The fragile ego thing is deadly. This is why we should teach boys that it's okay to cry and show vulnerability. I wake up surprised it's not World War Three. The whole world is on pins and needles hoping one man doesn't have a really bad day and decide to have an epic tantrum that will get us all killed when he presses that godforsaken nuke button.

-There's a group of politicians that could help stop it (the robbing of healthcare, the lack of gun control, the wealth inequality, the ignoring climate change, the debasing of women, the cop killings of black men, the ...shit, I'm gonna lose myself in a tangent if this keeps up.) Back to politicians. They're not wearing white togas but they are still all look the same as the ones from Rome.  They certainly act like it, too. They're busy acting out of their own interests, what with the lobbyist and rich corporations holding their balls. It's gonna be raining deregulation and tax cuts.

-There's the objectification and dehumanizing of women (which I've read is always the first sign that an empire is ending. Once you start treating women as second class citizens, something shifts in that society, and it's not a good thing.).

There's a rape culture, the treatment of women as things ("Hey, why don't you smile?", "You're disgusting for being fat."), the fear women have to reject men b/c they might get acid thrown on their face or murdered, the sexism in tech and science...hell, ALL fields really, the mansplaining and constant interruptions when women speak. Then there's the lack of empathy for motherhood in this country. How are we still the only developed nation without paid maternity leave? Seriously? How the fuck is that still a thing? Course it goes the other way, too. If you are a woman and decide not to do the motherhood route, then you're a selfish bitch who is going against nature.

Anyways, moving on from the fun times for anyone with a vagina. 

-There's the gross imbalance of wealth, of course. The majority are the poor who struggle and kill each other trying to survive (horizontal violence, probably why there are no gun control laws) while the 1% watches us from their penthouses.

-There's the Coleseum to distract us (social media and all things media, really. We tear into each other like lions.) Man, when we see the latest scandal, we judge it like we know these people, don't we? We go online and rant and ruin their reputations. Lions hungry for flesh: There are the trolls, the online bullies that are so good at psychological torture they can actually make you kill yourself, there are those who promise to rape you (if you're a woman, especially), oh, let's not forget the people who say they're going kill you....But we're all addicts so we continue to go online, preferring to look down on our phones than talk to the person next to us because how else could we compare our lives to figure out who has the better one?

-There's weird weather shit: they had Pompei, we have crazy hurricanes that keep trying to kill us all with floods and melting ice or insane heat spells.

And yet, somehow, tomorrow, we will all get up and do this all again like it's another day. Sorta like how the Romans just continued to go on while the good ol' times died around them. 

The rich, racist white man reigns supreme. You're fucked if you're black. Or have pigmented skin. Or a woman. Or gay. Or not a Christian. Or believe in healthcare for all. Or gun control. Or really anything resembling kindness and acceptance to your fellow man. They usually always get assassinated.

People have always been quick to say that this land is the land of the free.

They're going to say "Soldiers died for me to be here."  There's the flag, waving in the air, and the solemn crowd with a hand to their heart. Some of them romanticize the battlefield as if these soldiers die holding the flag with expressions of patriotic pride on their dead faces while the anthem plays on.

I figure war isn't really an image as much as a sound.

I look at the flag and I hear bombs dropped by drones, the screams of men and women from both sides who are pissed-scared, the wails of grief from mothers holding their dead babies, the rat-tat-tat of shots fired, and the lonely trumpet solo of another coffin with a folded up flag on it being carried into a plane home.

Cynics will argue the war isn't really fighting the bad guys (whoever those are supposed to be these days), it's more or less a front for oil. If there are places where there's genocide and no oil...then we won't be going there to fight. We're the country that provides arms to other countries to fight their wars.

War is a billion dollar business for this country, but you can't sell that to the desperate, uncertain recruits. You have to market it as something noble to motivate the fear out of these young people. These soldiers probably grew up middle to lower class, struggling to make a future for themselves in a country that isn't going to help them unless they promise their life to it first. 

"Soldiers died for me to be here."  And the ones who survived? The injured and the damaged? What happens to them? Why are they tucked away and forgotten from our minds. Do you know how many homeless people are veterans? They left here all shiny and came back with broken souls.

And if you're one of the lucky ones to have your limbs still attached when you get back here, what must it feel like to see what you almost died fighting for?

If you're a black man who was a respected and honored soldier... To come back to a place where you're hunted by cops who don't give a fuck who you are b/c you're in their country now and this is how shit works here...was it worth it?

...I can't end this post like this...it's just too raw.

I still believe in the dream of a free country.

I'd like it to be one where we are all equal and have a chance for happiness that isn't taken away too soon from lack of food or lack of healthcare or a bullet.

I'd like women to be seen as something more than pretty objects to be used for their beauty or their wombs.

I'd like us to stop being so afraid to be wrong about the idea of God and admit that we have no fucking clue why we're here but to be grateful that we are and respect all ideas of where we're all going when we die.

I'd like us to stop being afraid of the different and realize it means we're on our way to being more uniformly one: a race of humans that come from a spinning planet.

I'd like us to stop raping Mother Nature and return to being the stewards of Earth.

I'd like there to be a cap on greed and money so that at a certain billion dollar point, the money filters down to the very poor.

Love is love is love. That means all things. Men and women and animals and nature.

I wonder if it's too late.