Fed up

These are some dark times we be livin.

I don't know if it's because we are all able to get news so quickly but there's a lot of things being reported that can drain the hope out of me.

But, once again, I am going to choose to see the light.  And the light I'm seeing lately is a lot of pissed-off women.

It's like we looked around and were like, "Okay, this world is a hot mess and these white men don't know what they're doing. Move aside, boy, and let us show you how to handle things."

It's hella inspiring.

There's a new sexual predator being outed every day now. I mean, apart from Bill Cosby, every one being reported seems to be a white man who were given power they didn't deserve. I'll bet they thought their power would protect them for years.

And really, all this pain and angst? It's a good thing. It really is.

You know why?

Because growth is fucking painful. And we as a people have gotten way too comfortable with the way things were. Status quo was not cutting it anymore and it's about damn time.

Women are rising up.They are fed up with the misogyny, the toxic feminism,and the sexism that keep trying to suppress our behavior into what others want us to be.

It is refreshing and inspiring. And it's also fucking scary and unknown territory.

I have been weirdly happy lately. I mean, the default existential angst of why-am-I-here, what-do-I-do-with-this-gift-of-life is still there, of course. I am still painfully aware that death is coming for us but the hopeless despair that brings isn't as potent. Maybe that's maturity, I don't know.

Or  maybe it's the amitriptyline I got prescribed for nerve pain for the spine thing. I'm supposed to take 2 at night so I can get some relief from the nonstop agony. One of the other things it does is improve mood and feelings of well-being, relieve anxiety and tension as well as helping you sleep better.

It could be that or it could be the meditation. I've been doing the TM thing. It's been helping with the pain.

Or it could be both. I don't know. But I ain't mad at it.

For the first time in a very very long time, I'm not drowning with defeat at whatever the future holds.  Now, I'm just a little sad. I can feel other emotions more like joy and peace. And really, I think that's sorta my definition of being successful.

To me, success is peace. Just like, that deep inner peace, you know? Where I'm free from thinking money is the way to happiness or that awful comparison chaos or just losing myself into the anxiety of what the future may hold. I would really like to be able to take each moment as it comes and be mindful of it. Truly savor it without expecting better moments in the future.

Lordy, I lost myself in a tangent again. Right, where was I?

Oh, right. Current events. Pissed off she-humans.

The fed-up women of today who are toppling down the man one awful dirt bag at a time. I wish the cleansing would go faster. I know there are more men out there that haven't been outed as they need to be.

But don't worry, we comin'.