Worry

It's 3:41 a.m. and I can't sleep.

That's probably because of the worry.

They say when you get in this kind of state to write it all down. It's supposed to help.


I don't know if that's all true. I do know I run to write to soothe myself. Like almost instinctively. There has to be something to it.

Here's what I'm worried about. Get ready for a can of crazy.
1.) Believing in dreams is great. But keeping that belief on a daily basis is hard. And omg, I've never seen such low numbers in my checking account before and I'm scared b/c for once I'm daring to follow my heart and not my head. But following my head got me mucho dineros and expensive shit. Okay, those things didn't really make me happy. In fact, I just used all my money to try to fix that deep hole of unhappiness b/c I wasn't following my heart. And now that I'm following my heart...well yeah I am happier. Life isn't so dark or bleak. But life is lived much more on the cheap now.

What if this is all a mistake. What if this writing thing doesn't work out? What if I'm like never discovered till I'm like 50 and I'm dead. And no one even knows or cares what I had to say.

....

No.

That isn't going to happen.

I'm a go-getter. Always have been. Always will be. Don't know how to slow down. Just work faster and harder.

I will not stand idly by on the sidelines of my life and just let opportunity pass me by. No. That's not me. I will do this. This will happen. I have no doubt.

Because not only do I have the talent...I have the work ethic. I will give this my all. And I know that this effort will pay off. It will. I know it. I've done other things that I didn't even care half as much about that I still accomplished.

This isn't going to be the one that I fail at. There is no such thing as failure.

I'm going to make this happen. You watch me.