I may have a focus probl--SQUIRREL!

I have no idea why, but I have two blog platforms. I'm sure I eventually need to pick one but I'd rather just copy and paste for now instead of making yet another decision. 

I've been told all my life that I have focus problems. I first noticed it when I was doing math problems as a child. And it continued through most of my math classes before going into chemistry. I didn't burn down the lab or anything but it wouldn't be something completely out of the realm of possibility.

I just couldn't seem to keep my attention on something if it wasn't interesting. If it had too many steps, I got overwhelmed. Or if I missed a step, then yeah, game over.  

It was sort of a relief to be diagnosed with ADHD last year. Or maybe Ishould say ADD. I don't know. The doc wasn't worried about it. He said I managed it well enough, based on my addiction to education. (I got two more degrees that I shouldn't have gotten).

But he gave me a prescription anyway. Vyvance. It's on my kitchen table. Enough for a month. 

I took one a few days ago. I had been having trouble focusing my writing. I was just all over the place. I had 5 open projects that were all in varying stages of being completed. I didn't know which one I would work on hour to hour. Facebook exists. Oh and there's Youtube. This whirlwind of distraction is not uncommon for my daily life.

So I took one. And waited. And two hours later...I think I noticed a difference? I'm not sure. I felt sleepy as hell but I did write more than I used to. 

I haven't taken another one since then. I'll admit it, I'm a bit wary at this time. Especially the side effects. I don't need anything that might make me sadder than I already get sometimes. Yes! That's a side effect. The MD said it really calmly too, like it was no big deal.

"You might start to feel a little down after a while."

Errr. That's not good. Down is never good for me. My psyche tends to stay down longer than normal. I think that's where all the good ideas come from. Oh!! STORY IDEA?  Yes, most definitely. 

Where was I? Oh, crap. See, I do it here too. Lists. Must make a list. And Excel. Colorcoded. I have plans. Big plans. I won't need a silly little pill. I just need to buckle down. 

Even though it feels like I'm trying to catch the wind.