One phrase I wish people would stop using

"Are you Christian?"

"I'm a practicing none of your goddamn business." (Ron from Parks and Recs)

"Everything happens for a reason."

I hate that effing phrase so much, you have no idea. No, it doesn't. That blanket statement is not the D. All the above option to life's questions. Everything does not happen for a reason, and I want to punch people who say shit like that. 

It's a cop out in the face of reason. It's cruel to say that to the people who have suffered. It's a way for the speaker to glue together all the random painful shit that happened in other people's lives to land them in present day. You're trying to make incomprehensible grief and tragedy fit into a neat bento box. 

We think shit like that because to believe otherwise is a frightening thought: that we are a species in a small forgotten blue planet more often driven to hurt each other than to be kind. We live in a world that will sooner or later tear us apart just because our number is up. The good die, the bad thrive, the poor suffer, the rich get richer. It's not a pretty world. 

We need the illusion to live everyday. To pretend that fairness, to some degree, happens when it doesn't. As much as we like to think that fairness can be forced, it doesn't follow our commands. This world, hell, this universe, holds nothing for us but brutal indifference. 

I don't know about you, but that terrifies me. It's enough for me to run back into the ceremonial garbs of the church, close my eyes, chant the meaningless words, and pretend someone knows what the hell is going on. 

I used to force myself to see signs everywhere. It was my way of finding meaning to the fucked up shit I've experienced. I tried to say, "This happened so that could happen and if that didn't happen, then I wouldn't have gotten here. And that's all fate."

But it didn't add up. It never added up. The painful things did not have to happen to get to where I am. I don't see how they enriched my life in any way. 

I think you'll see what you want to see. It's easier to believe that there are sign posts. That someone or something is looking down on you and cares about you. If you want to believe that you saw that billboard was God speaking to you, then fine. I know that it's your security blanket. 

Myself? I've embraced the random. It doesn't let me down. I am not left puzzling over why it broke its own rules. "Shit happens" is my new motto.  

There's recent news that the world is becoming more secular. That's understandable given the past century of war and famine. I think the world is starting to clue in on the idea that if there was a God, then it is an uncaring one more often than not. They would rather accept the idea that there is no parental being for the world. That it's up to ourselves fix our problems. 

I think at the core of each religion, before man twisted it into the extreme dogma of today, was to love and be kind to each other. It's when we start trying to explain why we're here that we run into trouble.  

I think there are somethings we can all agree on. Life is hard. It is painful. Everyone is doing the best that they can. Most of the time, no one knows what the fuck is happening or what they're doing. 

If you can admit that, then maybe you can stop saying, "Everything happens for a reason."