Great Expectations

"You're being too hard on yourself."





I hear this a lot. And yeah, it's annoying. Because no, I'm not hard on myself. I just know what I'm capable of and it bothers me when I'm not going after what I want full throttle.

P says that it's not realistic to be at 100% all the time, every day. That some days, you'll be at 50%, but that's okay. Cuz you know...you're human.

I don't think I like that excuse. Being human isn't a good enough reason for me not to push myself to my limit. I can handle the pain. I am familiar with struggle. I am not afraid of hard work.

Maybe that's it. It's that sort of self flaggelation that I am looking for. God, where did that come from? Catholic school? Maybe.

I just worry that if I acknowledge that I'm human that I'll keep using that as an excuse and greatness will pass me by ,because I rested on my laurels instead of busting my ass.

I think I'm gonna push myself even harder now. I don't trust people who say otherwise. I kinda look at them like...wtf is wrong with you? Success just doesn't fall in your lap. If you want something, you're gonna have to bleed. That's just how the world works. Maybe that's just the way my world works.