Hidden talent.

Painting was a happy accident I stumbled on.

I wasn't encouraged to do art as a kid. I don't remember coloring books or drawing lessons. Certainly not paint.

I had no idea I was creative. I really didn't. The world seemed too pretty to capture. And who was I to try? I wasn't told I could paint.

I remember when that changed.

It was a cheap Crayola watercolor set. I think I asked my mom to get it for me on the way out of a store and she was tired enough to get it. I was twelve, I think.

I remember being so eager to use it. Thank God, the next day was a snow day, because that baby was opened up right after breakfast.

Jason and I were playing School. I liked playing school. That's how much of a nerd I am. So anyways, School is how I wish school is now. You have to learn something, can be anything, but has to be learning, period.

I got out my music stand and put a plastic tablet on it so the paper wouldn't fall back. I taped computer paper on it. Then I started to paint.

It was a vase of flowers. It wasn't that amazing. A cute watercolor. Amazing to me, because I made it and it didn't look like total shit. It was after that day that I got addicted to the feeling I got while I was painting.

It's this weird serenity that my chaotic mind had never encountered before. I could breathe in and out and feel as if I was one with the universe. And I just felt peaceful. Just really peaceful.

Then somehow, I sort of forgot about it. School and teenager years kept me busy. I can't believe I forgot about it, but I did. I remember wishing I was in art class with some of my classmates. But their projects seemed so hard. I wasn't in that level. I just painted simple things on computer paper.

 Until one day, about eight years later, I went to an art shop in Athens and picked up a brush and a small canvas.

I tried watercolor and oil and acrylic. I have yet to figure oil out. I don't have any lessons. Anytime I try for lessons, the first one is always drawing. I suck at drawing. I don't want to draw. I'd rather just start painting.

So I just do a rough sketch and go for it. I don't really want to bother with shading exercises or holding the pencil correctly. Boredom is the enemy and you're inviting it to my table when I'm told to draw.

Nowadays, I paint when my mind is cluttered. I liken it to taking an imaginary baby brush bottle cleaner and pushing it through one ear and out another. Sounds horrible, I know, but it feels like it cleans out the gunk in my head. I always feel cleaner after I paint.

So yes, yesterday 9 hours, painted. Today mind clear. It's a relief.