Dear 18 year old Me

I wish I could tell Younger Me a few things. Probably things that would have changed the course of my life as it is now.

I know, I know. I had to learn those hard lessons to get to where I am today. I wouldn't be the same person I am now without walking through that fire. 

Still. If I could send a message back. It'd be something like this. 

Dear 18 year old me,

Hi, it's Future You. I know you don't believe me, but shut up and listen. 

Here are 5 things you need to know. 

Take care of your shell. Health becomes super important now that I'm over 30. Gone are the days where exercise equals losing weight. Nope. That's gone after 25. Your metabolism gets pushed off a cliff thanks to a bitchy endocrine system. Ding dongs and pizza, though delicious, will send your body into a storm that isn't fun to ride.

On that same note, your body is not going to be friend. There are no quick fixes for the problem you're having. That 2nd surgery will be a mistake, and so is that 3rd one. Give in and make peace with the chronic pain. Adapt to your limitations and live around them. Be kind to your body. Don't push it against its will. It pushes back by taking revenge in the form of excruciating pain. Learn this now and you'll spare yourself unnecessary self-torture.

Let the Gypsy Lead the Way. You will be so glad you traveled, especially now that the world seems so scary. You're gonna go all over the world: Japan, Belgium, France, England, Philippines, India, Hawaii, Mexico. Be in the moment. Realize this is the kind of shit you're gonna think about in your death bed. Throw away that guidebook and open your eyes to the view. 

Hold on to Hope. There's always a Plan B. It may not seem like it, but it's there. So is the Plan C and a D. Younger Me, sweetie, life is not going to go the way you planned. It won't be the to do check list you wrote out at Math class. Bad stuff is going to happen. 

Here's a quick taste of what's to come: You will be so broke that ass poor sounds nice. For a brief time, you're going to be homeless and you'll have nothing, not even a car to live in. There are going to be more hungry nights than full ones. You'll get dramatically evicted out of more than one home. You'll have shitty jobs where you're worked like a dog. Your body will turn on you and things get scary real, like, live-in-a-wheelchair real. 

So, yeah, lots of shit is going to happen. At times, it will all seem hopeless, but realize that there is always a way through. There is, I promise. The dark is there, but it can't exist without the light. Just hold on.      

Trust your gut. I wish I did this more. I should have known that Masters degree program wasn't for me from day one. That's why I had a panic attack that night. It wasn't for you. My gut was telling me that, but I still forced myself to do it. And what happened? Three awful years of papers and lectures and more papers. Don't do it. Listen next time, you stubborn fool. You could have done so many other things with that time. 24 could have been so much more fun. And you can't get that youth back now. That's gone.   

And on that same note, yeah, you were right about him. Everyone thought you were too crazy, too young, too naive. But yeah, you were right. He was the guy you would end up marrying. Your gut wasn't wrong.

Money is a tool. It's capable of a lot. Realize that you'll have to find a balance between letting it go and keeping some. Ex: if you're on vakay, just go ahead and spend it. You're never going to be there again. That sky dive was worth it, by the way. 

It's the online shopping that you're gonna have to watch out for. Stick to good, well made basics. Buy good material, you'll find it lasts longer than cheap cotton. Learn not to be such a sales whore. Old Navy isn't the bargain you think it is. Good shoes are worth it if they're as equally comfortable. 

But also, save. That nest egg you're building is going to come in handy when shit hits the fan. Believe me. Try to put more in there than you think. Almost to the point of pain. Future You, aka Me, is going to thank you. 

Okay, 18 year old me. I think that's enough for now. I'm ahead of you by 15 years. It's not all going to suck, I swear. There are going to be more happy times than not. It really all depends on your perspective.  Keep trying to be kind. Don't lose that childish enthusiasm. It's gonna be a great ride.