Getting Older Series: Body edition

In keeping with my decision to continue to be part of the light, I wrote this lighthearted post to help my heavy heart.

My birthday trepidation came and went and faded.

And though I still sorta think I'm being punked (when the heck did I become closer to 40 than 20?), I'm not going to bemoan getting older. It's trite and something a basic bitch would do.

Besides, when I do complain, my older friends say, "Oh, shut up. You're a baby. So fricking young!"

They're right.

So this post isn't going to be where I'm complaining (much). More like, mentioning the things that have changed with age.

(BTW: It's too much to put in one blog post so I'm separating it into topic chunks. It's going to be the Getting Older Series. Today's topic will be about my body.)

1- Everything hurts. Ohmigod, I hurt.  Some days, I am uncomfortably introduced to every single muscle in my body, especially the ones on my back. Oh! And you become a sound effect. I sound like fire kindling when I get up in the morning.

Snap.  Crackle.  Owwwww.

2- It's soo much harder to lose weight now. Seriously, my metabolism didn't quit, it fucking disappeared. How else can you explain it?  I'm eating less and moving more and the pounds keep coming. What the fuck is that?

3- Yes, there is exercise. (roll eyes) Of course, there is exercise. But it doesn't help with the weight loss. It becomes more of a necessary evil if you want to live. I gotta move my body everyday, spread that synovial fluid to all those rusting joints, or I'll end up like a bedridden Tin Man.

4- But you gotta be careful. I can't do those crazy boot camp exercises anymore. I move differently now. Carefully. That's the word. No longer am I jumping or bouncing away. It's all easy joint exercises like swimming, walking, yoga, pilates now...all things that go against my nature of running.

5- No one tells you that you go bald! No one talks about it, but yeah it's true. Women start to lose their hair. It's not like the way men do with one barren spot. It's more a general loss of volume in the crown area, so you can't even fix it with extensions!

There are different reasons for hair loss: hereditary, thyroid, etc. I wince when I think back on my teen years. All those tight ponytails.

Sigh*  And yeah, there are treatments. But they're the kind of thing where you have to do them for the rest of your life. You can't stop. If you stop, then it's back to how it was. So it, like, owns your life forever.

Screw that. I can barely remember if I put on deodorant in the morning.

6- Staying on the hair topic...There's hair growing in places that didn't before. Like your chin. Or in places it always was before but only worse now...like your upper lip and your arms and your happy trail.

You start to look at chimps on the Discovery Channel and realize you are just as hairy. Maybe more in certain places.

7- Thanks to recent push in body positivity and healthy-is-the-new-skinny campaigns, I've gotten better at accepting my physical appearance. Most days, I love my body. I can stand to see myself naked in the mirror and dance.

"Girls are supposed to dance. That's why God gave them parts that jiggle."

Troy (Community)


8. I'm grateful for my health. I can breathe without struggle. My arms and legs work. I can still walk despite what the neurosurgeon said. This shell of mine is pretty damn capable.

Despite all the health problems, this body has taken me all over the world.  I've walked barefoot around the Golden Temple, climbed the watch tower in Brugge, surfed in Waikiki, paddle boarded in Palawan, hell, my quad muscles even got me to walk to the top of Filbert Street one time (I'm never doing THAT again). How can I not be proud of this body?

9.  My face. There's a story behind why I look the way I do. Anyone looking at me can tell I'm...different. A mixed-race. A hybrid of genetics. A human mutt. lol.

I'll forever have the face shape that makes me look like a kid. The big eyes, the dimples, the crooked grin. I won't ever be sexy, but adorable? Adorable I can do. Adorable is my forte.

10- Aging isn't for sissies. Whenever I start to feel bad, I just think about this one old lady I saw at Target once. She had to have been seventy and drove around riding in a scooter thingy. She was wearing a hot pink sequined jacket. It looked striking with her white permed hair and sun glasses. She had to have been one of the pink ladies from Grease.

Anyways, she sorta just owned the space she was in, like "Move over bitches or Imma roll over you!"

She's my hero. I wanna be just like her when I grow up.

#FutureMe for sure.


This series is gonna continue. I have many other things I want to share. I hope it makes you laugh.

K, bye for now!