“ After a girl is grown, her little brothers — now her protectors — seem like big brothers.” – Terri Guillemets

I woke up inspired to write about my brothers. Probably because I got to see all of them together at the same time last night. That doesn't happen often. One of them is in college, the other is in the air force, and the other is a high schooler who is busier than I. We had to wrestle our schedules together to finally meet for dinner.

It was such a fun night that I woke up this morning, wishing we could do it again. We won't be able to for a while. Maybe three years or so. I miss them already.

This post will be my attempt to preserve what I'm feeling.

A little background:  I am the only girl. I am the oldest. There's a seventeen year gap between me and the youngest. The eldest is J. Middle is JR. Youngest is R. 

My brothers are all very different, but they do share certain similarities.

1.) They're all tall, dark, and handsome. No, seriously. They're all mixed, so it's like the best of each race got handpicked. I am so jealous of R's long-ass lashes. Girls in his class have asked if they're real.

2.) Stubborn. Oh, sweet Mother of God. They are all sooo strangle-inducingly stubborn. It's a victory to have them agree with you. Oh, and they will all deny you that satisfaction of telling you you're right.

3.) Photogenic as eff. They don't take a bad picture. None of them do. Even when they make funny faces. Somehow, they all come out looking so good.

4.) Smart. R barely has to try. He's one of those annoying people who studies four minutes before the test. JR has to study but it pays off b/c he'll usually set the curve. And J might beat me in numbers of graduate degrees soon if I don't get my ass rolling to get that damn PhD.

5.) They respect women. I don't think they realize how deeply feminist they all are. They had me to deal with and I'm intense about girl power. It must have rubbed off. J treats his wife like a queen. JR has a group of close female friends that love him like their own brother. And R adores women and has always been a charming flirt.

6.) Temper, temper. They're all quick to anger. J might hide it better than all of us but yeah, he gets annoyed just as bad as all of us. JR has perfected this why-won't-you-die look that is very effective. R is the quickest one to anger and will lash out with his mouth. He'll say something that will hit below the belt the first two minutes. Yeah, don't wanna piss any of them off.

7.) Driven. They are all ambitious. J will be a major next year. JR already has his sights set on Cornell for graduate school. R just wants to become a surgeon with a side business while traveling the world. If I ever feel like I've accomplished enough, I just call one of them up and realize I haven't done diddly squat.  Oh...we're all a little competitive, did I forget to mention that?


How they are all different? I'm gonna have to limit this to one paragraph each or I'll end up writing a long ass post.

J

Despite our long, shared past, this brother has always been the one I've had trouble reading out of all of them. He speaks in passive sentences. There won't ever be an "I feel..." sentence come out of his mouth. You have to learn to read between his complicated speech and realize what he's really trying to say. I used to mistake this for coldness, but I was wrong. He's not a cold robot. The way he dealt with everything meant he learned to protect that fun-loving child he used to be by compartmentalizing everything he feels inside thick walls. He loves games and gadgets. If you were ever lucky enough to be his friend, he'd be your friend for life. 

JR

Out of all of them, this one and I have the closest friendship that goes beyond us being siblings. We've always just understood each other better better when we talk, and he's the one I'd spend most of my time talking to when we're all together. I think he's the most empathetic of the three and the best listener. Making him laugh is easier compared to the other two (J might smile & R is usually two beats behind the joke). He's also the laziest one out of all three (That's not me being mean, he legit uses that word to describe himself). He's the most book smart but the dumbest when it comes to street smarts. I worry about him getting scammed or taken advantaged off the most if he ever got off his butt to do something, lol.  

R

This one and I have butted heads because he's the exact opposite of me. He's confident to the point of cocky. He has a love of money that worries me. (I know he'd do well in Wall Street.) He gets everything he wants with very little effort on his part. I warn him all the time that one day that will stop and life is gonna kick his ass. I worry about him a lot too, but in a different way compared to JR. I think R's the one who will lose himself in materialism and competition and if he's not careful, miss the whole point of life. Out of all of them, he's the one who's probably going to have the most lessons when it comes to beauty. He fails to see the inner beauty of things. He wants the newest of everything, just because it exists. But even with all of that, R is the charmer. Even at my angriest, he's quick to butter me up and I'll forget why I'm pissed. 

Just for shits and giggles, I'm going to take a shot at how they'd describe me. 

They'd probably say I'm funny. No, crazy, they'd use the word crazy. Unpredictable in everything. Pretty. Impulsive. Adventurous. Creative. Crass. Potty-mouth. Blunt but a soft touch. Generous. Most sensitive, can hold a grudge. Protective. Reliable. Loyal. Opinionated. 

Sigh. They'd be right. 

This exercise helped a little. I still miss all of them this morning. I know the next time I see them, more time will have passed, so they'll be older, taller, and different. Hopefully, I'm not shorter and wider lol.