Confessions

I haven't written in a while. Lots of adulting (drive, work, drive, sleep, repeat) lately. Hasn't been fun. Body has not been happy. Lots of back pain lately, worse than usual.

I'm trying not to revert back to that awful cycle of hating myself and use that energy to actually get to work.  I haven't written and I need to get back on the wagon. That muscle gets weak if you don't work it out every day.

I also need to be aware of passion-killers, and chastising myself is one of those actions that does that.

I have to remind myself of the vision for what I want. The future I see seems kind of unbelievable. But here's the thing...so far, I've lived a pretty unbelievable life. Odds,and I mean, crazy ass odds were stacked against me, and yet, somehow I'm still standing.

It's the mindset, I guess. That's the start of it. Half the battle is knowing your worth, and realizing that anyone who tells you otherwise is full of shit.

Obsession is a necessity for success. Probably why I'm so extreme about

I need to be more careful about the shit I've been saying lately. Even though I joke around, it's dangerous to be so careless about my future. The law of attraction is a real thing. I forget that the universe is aware of me even when I think no one is listening.

Self-talk time:

It's 80% done. Almost there. C'mon girlie. Final lap. Let's get to it. I know it hurts. I know you can barely write it without crying. I know drudging it all up sucks some serious hairy ass cheeks, but ya gotta get it down. If nothing else, this can be that form of revenge you needed. Immortal vengeance of sorts. For all your kindness, I know that when you're crossed, you turn into one vindictive bitch. Channel her in all her glory. She is rage incarnate but she's also the strength you need to get through this next part. C'mon. Write it down. It can only hurt you as much as you let it.