Additions To My Long-Ass Bucket List

The older I get, the more I know I don't know much. It's very humbling to leave my parent's house at 18 thinking I know it all and then get my ass handed to me in my 20s by the world teaching me again and again, that no, I don't have a fucking clue.




I finally caved in my early 30s. I realized that I don't know what I'm doing or where the fuck my life is headed. I mean, I had a plan. I had a life map, actually. I drew a timeline, marking what I was going to get down at each age. I got most of them done, but not in the time I thought it would take. Some of them got done way earlier than I thought (fall in love and get married), while others took a hell of a lot longer (finish writing THE book that I need to write before I die).

I got most of them done, though. Better late, then never, right? That's all that matters.

Thing is, I gotta create another list now. There's a lot I still don't know and want to do.  Most of my list is learning-based. For example: I want to learn how to say "Hello," "Thank you," and "Where is the good food? Give me lots, please." in Japanese, Russian, Hindi, Farsi, Portuguese, and maybe that one weird African language where they speak in tongue clicks. You know, to add some variety.

Why? Because I think people bond over food and there's a lot of food I still haven't eaten and maybe I can make friends while stuffing my face.

I'd like to master the Argentine tango. Paul and I took ballroom dancing a few years ago. By the way, that man took to the waltz like a duck to water! He surprised me at how graceful and in-tune he was to the music. Oh, and the waltz is a killer thigh exercise. It looks like it would be nothing, but no, there's a lot of leg muscles being used. Needed to ice my thighs after spinning around and around and around.

There are a few places I'd still wanna go see. I got the big ones out of the way (Paris, London, Tokyo), but now I gotta get off the beaten path and explore on my own. I've been doing my research for a few years now and I've come up with a list of things to add to my bucket list.

Here's some of them.

1- Machu Picchu: I'm not sure how much longer they're going to allow people to go and visit. Did you know-those rocks are placed so tightly that a knife couldn't fit between them? How da faq did these ancient time people do this shit? They built pyramids (Egyptians) and temples (Aztecs and Romans) and crazy ass shit (what the fuck are those weird head statues in Easter Island supposed to be for?) that stood the test of the time.

2-Lake Titicaca-because I wanna say I've been to Lake Titicaca and watch people wonder if I'm making the place up or being wildly inappropriate (It's called mind-fucking and it's my favorite thing to do when I'm bored).

3-Cesky Krumlov: I've seen the pics. Holy moley, this place is pretty. It might beat Brugge in quaintness.

4- Stay overnight in an ice hotel. My brother got to do this and I'm still hella jealous. I'm thinking Iceland or Norway.

5- Go to Vienna opera house and watch Nessum Dorma be sung live. I could listen to this song on repeat for the rest of my life. But I'd love to hear it in the same room.

6- Swim with jellyfish. Don't worry, I'm not crazy. There's this place in Palau called Lake Jellyfish and the jellyfish there don't sting you. You can swim among them safely. I really wanna admire them up close like that. Pretend I'm Dory.

7- Go where the desert meets the ocean. The Southern Namid desert dunes stop at the edge of the Atlantic ocean abruptly. I saw it in that movie with "Hidalgo" with the dude who plays Aragorn. There's something about it that moved me. The point where two extreme environments collide. I don't know, there's something about that visual that I could stare at forever.

8- Go to Giverny. Monet painted and painted while slowly going blind here. I want to see the world he kept trying to preserve on canvas.

9- Take Mom to see the Switzerland. I asked her where she's always wanted to go and you coulda knocked me with a feather when she said, "Switzerland." I don't know, it wasn't the answer I thought she would say. I was thinking she'd say Petra, Jordan, or, I don't know Bhutan or something.  So yeah, planning to do that trip soon while Mom is still well enough to travel.

10- Stay in a tree-house hotel. There's actually a couple of them in the US you could go to. I'd love to go with Paul and just watch the wildlife from way up high and enjoy the silence.


I really hope that I get to do these within the next decade instead of having to work my ass off for another 30 years before I have the time and money to get to them. It would be a shame to waste so much time waiting.