My Word Is Fearless because...

...I can do anything. Overcome anything. Hell, I'm still standing. That's gotta say something.

Were there moments I was scared? Yes. I'm still scared. The anxiety got out of control last year. There was just too much happening. The world was scaring me and I'd find myself having panic attacks.

I sought care though. The meds helped a lot. I hadn't realized how bad it had gotten until they kicked in and I went back to normal. I can think again. I think last year every other thought was a fearful one. I don't know how I got as much accomplished as I did.

It takes strength to ask for help. It would have been easier to keep quiet and doing that would have continued my suffering.

I can be scared and still continue on. It's not one or the other. Both can exist. I'm learning not to negate myself.

Oh, I started seeing a therapist. I forgot to mention that. I've only seen her three times, but I plan on doing more sessions. I hadn't thought it would be as helpful as it has been. I thought the meds were enough but I think healing would be faster if I had some talk therapy to go along with it.

Writing has been healing though. This book has been good for me. I shouldn't worry about whether anyone will read it. I can't control that part of it. It wold be a waste of time continuing to worry about it.

What I can do is polish this story so it's as beautiful as I can get it. The story is mine, and yes, I'm worried that by someone rejecting the story, they will be rejecting me. But I need to be okay with that. I will not be everyone's cup of tea, so my story will be subject to that same kind of feeling.

So, be fearless, Me. Continue onward. Wake up and do your morning routine (meditation/ exercises/grateful journal) and remember that you like writing. That the best kind of writing is the kind where you're scared someone will read it. That's this whole book, when you think about it.

I know you're scared like Piglet, but he still did stuff with Pooh. Courage, dude. You never did like sniveling. Face the fear and keep going anyway. It's just a ghost you can walk through. It will probably always be there. Learn to make friends with it. It's not its fault it wants to protect you so fiercely. After all, there is a reason for that. You were hurt over and over again. Can you blame the fear for being as strong as it is?

But live as if it doesn't shackle you anyway. The life you want won't happen otherwise.