Birthday Wish List

My birthday is coming up and there are some things I want. Honestly, the things I'm about to list are things I've wanted for years now and I'm still waiting to get them. I gotta hustle a little harder so that I get to treat myself the way I deserve.



1. Burberry Trench.

I have wanted a Burberry Trench for over a decade. I hope by the time I'm in my 40s, I can make this desire come true.

2.  Chanel bag

Isn't it so pretty? I think part of it is also to keep Coco's memory alive. She was such an amazing bad-ass woman. I've read a lot of her biographies and she was way, way ahead of her time. Like, even in today's standards, she'd be leading the pack on women's power.

3. Perfume. ....No, I'm not telling which one. I like to have my own personal scent and if I tell someone then they'll buy it and it won't be my scent anymore. I'm big on scents. There was a memory of some Indian neighbors that came over my grandmother's house and they hugged me against my will. My horrified face was pressed against their stinky-ass armpits. Shudder* I swore, never ever would I smell like that when I grew up.

4. A water feature in my garden.

I see DIYs on Pinterest all the time and they make it look soooooo easy. Bullshit. Try diggin a hole in my clay soil. After the third stab and lift with the spade, you are tired. But I still really want one. I might hire someone. I won't ask Paul. He digs enough holes for me. The next one will probably for my body....I kid, I kid!

5. An open compost area.

The small bin we got was nice but I really want something bigger.  Something like this. But Paul is worried about critters and bugs. He is not a bug guy. I don't mind bugs; I played with spiders as a kid.

6. Hay.

Not straw. Hay. I want bushels and bushels of it for the brown material ratio for my compost. It's supposed to be 3:1 brown to green, but right now I think I have it 4:1 green to brown, lol. Yeah, things aren't breaking down as I'd like. At this rate, might take a few years.

7. Red Wriggler Worms

Man, these things are awesome. They adore cardboard. And they're the most useful things ever. I want them for their poop...no, I'm not kidding.

8. A very big and very well-made bat house....like this

I'm BatWoman!!! Hahahaha.

This is my next step for eco-conservation. I've helped bring the birds back to the neighborhood. I got at least 11 butterflies to get born in my garden last year. Some bumble-bees are hitting up my house on the regular cause I got nectar plants all up in here like a buffet. Now, I jut need to save my night-time friends...the bats.

Bats are mammals. They're actually endangered in the U.S. People get freaked out by them, but they're actually really helpful. They eat mosquitos. And I think they help w/ pollination too. I don't know, I like em. I grew up with them when I was a kid and they never hurt me. I mean, I did scream when one landed on me, but I think it's probably cuz it lost it's footing or something.

*If you are going to install one, make sure you don't do it on a tree (snakes and other critters will eat the baby bats), get the big ones not the itty bitty ones, and put it on a sunny location that's at least 15 feet off ground. Also, don't try to mess with it too much. I'd check on it maybe, once a year or so. Wasps can happen but are uncommon if it's being used by bats.

9. Plants. Duh.

Fringe Tree-do NOT get the Chinese one.

I'd really like more plants. Trees and hedge shrubs. I'm thinking about going to get a fringe tree. Maybe 3. And a Franklin tree I've had my eye on for a few years now. You know, those are extinct? Franklin tree, I mean.

Franklin tree is actually named after Ben Franklin. 

See, ain't it pretty?


10. Lastly...hmmm..what do I want?...Oh! Got it, I want one of these arbors or pergola looking things.

Isn't that just darling?! I adore vines. They are just so damn ambitious, just reaching for the skies like that.

So yeah, those are all the things I want.